It’s been a long time since I’ve written. I’ve been going through a stressful time health wise (what else is new?), and I haven’t been able to focus. I’ve had fun new symptoms like horrible night sweats almost every night. It’s not glamorous or fun. In fact, I’ve been feeling a bit ashamed by these sweats, despite knowing that they are fairly common. So now I’m trying to be a bit more open about this common symptom that a lot of people have to deal with (so much so that I found pajamas advertised specifically for night sweats…that help a little).
To begin, I’d like to take umbrage with the term “functional.” I think that means something different to everyone and I don’t want to judge others for what they can or cannot do. What I mean here is OCD that is medicated and at a level that I find acceptable on a daily basis.
This last week has been a combination of fatigue from jetlag and reducing my medication again. I’ve had to get more sleep and rest more after appointments and work. I’ve had to work harder to prioritize rest and not over-schedule myself.
I spend a lot of my time lying down. One of the things I love about working from home is being able to work lying down. I also relax lying down. The existence of laptops means that I can literally work with my computer on my lap every day. Sitting or standing for too long triggers pain throughout my back. Often sitting and working at a desk makes my upper back (between my shoulders) scream and shout—I feel deep stabbing pain and long-drawn-out soreness. Standing too long triggers my lower back and makes it ache and ache.
The last few weeks have been hard anxiety-wise. And I have no reason or explanation for it at all. I’m not feeling particularly stressed or worried about anything more than normal.