Lately, I’ve been beyond exhausted. Fatigue, exhaustion, and tired: nothing seems to cover how worn out I actually feel. I’ve had almost all of my IV iron treatments and I still feel wrung out like an old washcloth. I know it is normal for some people not to feel better until all of the treatments are finished. But it’s hard to know that intellectually and emotionally. Emotionally I’m impatient and frustrated.
I’ve had insomnia since I can remember. I love to sleep, but it takes me forever to fall asleep and I wake up at least once a night usually for an hour or more. I’ve struggled so much with my sleep because it directly affects my health—my back, anxiety, migraines, etc. Everything is worse when I don’t sleep and it makes it more likely I’ll have flare-ups.
There are a number of reasons that I struggle to get out of bed:
Part of my OCD is to look at things as problems that I need to solve. Sometimes this works in my favor and sometimes it works against me.
Growing Up Playing with Makeup
Like many young women, I experimented a lot with makeup when I was a pre-teen and teenager. My friends and I went off to the local drugstore and bought eye shadow in virulent shades of blue, green, and purple. We got lip smackers in soda flavors. We tried out different eye liners and mascaras to try to get dramatic and smoky eyes.