It’s been a long time since I’ve written. I’ve been going through a stressful time health wise (what else is new?), and I haven’t been able to focus. I’ve had fun new symptoms like horrible night sweats almost every night. It’s not glamorous or fun. In fact, I’ve been feeling a bit ashamed by these sweats, despite knowing that they are fairly common. So now I’m trying to be a bit more open about this common symptom that a lot of people have to deal with (so much so that I found pajamas advertised specifically for night sweats…that help a little).
There’s so much advice online about talking to oneself as a friend. You’re supposed to stop the negative self-talk that’s just making you more anxious and depressed. One of the number one pieces of advice on the internet is to treat yourself with kindness. You write out positive affirmations and say them into the mirror. Or you repeat mantras.
People use the phrase “life changing” all the time to describe products or practices, but the only thing that I’ve experienced that was truly life changing was going from taking birth control pills—placebo pills and all—to skipping the iron pills and using the hormone pills continuously. Doing so cuts out the faux periods I got every month.
Why Changing Careers Fills Me With Relief
One thing that I didn’t expect to feel after deciding to leave my program was relief and lightness. I thought I would feel regret and sadness, and I did and I do. But I also feel joy that all the things I worried about my program and my future on that path are no longer relevant.
I’ve come to realize that in addition to the shower, I do my thinking (not just best, but most thinking) with my eyes closed. I don’t reflect well staring out a window or gazing at a wall. I don’t contemplate while eating my oatmeal.