My Thoughts on Bones’ Take on OCD

I started watching Bones when I had to have a spinal tap before my second scoliosis surgery. I spent my Thanksgiving break laying completely flat on a couch and binge-watching Bones DVDs that my dad picked up for me from Blockbuster’s (which definitely dates my story). I focused on it instead of the raging pain in my brain every time I moved.

Since then, I continue to watch Bones reruns when I am tired, in pain, not feeling well, or just need something comforting on in the background. I love the ridiculous relationships, elaborate jargon, and dumb jokes.

In one of the episodes from Season 4: The Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond, the team solves the murder of a man with OCD. I first watched it long before I got my official OCD diagnosis. Back then the signs were all there, but I was high-functioning and kept many of my rituals and repetitive behaviors hidden.

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Fear Can Make Us Small

Fear can make us small. It can make us paranoid, nervous, suspicious, unfriendly, close-minded and all these things that I don’t want to be. My anxiety and OCD means that I get scared a lot. Ordinary things that don’t scare other people scare me. Some days I’m more scared than others. Some days I have to really psych myself up to go outside or get in the car or even video chat someone for the first time.

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Mental Health and Moving in a Pandemic

When the reality of the coming shutdown became clear, we started thinking hard about when and how we would move 500 miles. We had been thinking about the move for a while, had even visited the areas we were thinking of moving to but hadn’t started seriously planning. We had originally planned to move in the summer but when the media started discussing the economic effects of the shutdown, we realized it might be incredibly hard to sell our old place and move in the summer or even in the next year or so.

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Going Back on Medication in the Pandemic

It took me a while to accept (admit?) that I needed to go back on my psychiatric medication after spending the best part of a year reducing my medication for the first time since I started taking it four years ago. I wanted to see how I would do after years of steady therapy, exercise, acupuncture, and a steady process of learning more about myself and my mental illnesses. And I admit this, I did want to be “normal” and be okay without medication.

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