Figuring out how to manage your chronic conditions is often a years-long work in process that never really ends. My newest experiment is a continuation of my on-again, off-again relationship with exercise.
I’ve had insomnia since I can remember. I love to sleep, but it takes me forever to fall asleep and I wake up at least once a night usually for an hour or more. I’ve struggled so much with my sleep because it directly affects my health—my back, anxiety, migraines, etc. Everything is worse when I don’t sleep and it makes it more likely I’ll have flare-ups.
It’s been a long time since I’ve written. I’ve been going through a stressful time health wise (what else is new?), and I haven’t been able to focus. I’ve had fun new symptoms like horrible night sweats almost every night. It’s not glamorous or fun. In fact, I’ve been feeling a bit ashamed by these sweats, despite knowing that they are fairly common. So now I’m trying to be a bit more open about this common symptom that a lot of people have to deal with (so much so that I found pajamas advertised specifically for night sweats…that help a little).
I spend a lot of my time lying down. One of the things I love about working from home is being able to work lying down. I also relax lying down. The existence of laptops means that I can literally work with my computer on my lap every day. Sitting or standing for too long triggers pain throughout my back. Often sitting and working at a desk makes my upper back (between my shoulders) scream and shout—I feel deep stabbing pain and long-drawn-out soreness. Standing too long triggers my lower back and makes it ache and ache.
Sometimes, I think I have a handle on everything—that I’ve finally achieved acceptance and balance. And then I get knocked off balance by some new ailment.