To begin, I’d like to take umbrage with the term “functional.” I think that means something different to everyone and I don’t want to judge others for what they can or cannot do. What I mean here is OCD that is medicated and at a level that I find acceptable on a daily basis.
Why do we need to be different? Everywhere this time of year there are advertisements for New Year’s resolutions that will change you: make you better, make you different, make you a new you for the new year. Why do we want that? Why are we so unhappy with who we are?
Some of these not good days aren’t even bad days. They are just not good. The weather might be gloomy or chillier or windier than normal. I might be even clumsier than I normally am and drop my mug or spill my oatmeal in the morning. I might miss the train and have to wait for another. Or my back might be extra sore, for no reason at all.
I don’t think it’s an accident that I started showing signs of OCD in my early preteen years, right around the time I entered middle school and started wearing a back brace part of the day, in addition to the nights, to correct my crooked spine.
I was afraid of other illnesses and accidents happening to me or my family. I worried that if I didn’t knock on wood (a casual superstition to many people), that I could cause bad things to happen to my loved ones. Continue reading “My Need for Reassurance Was A Source of Shame But Is Now a Source of Connection: Here is How”
Another test of my sanity came from the local wildlife. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m from Texas so I’ve dealt with my fair share of deadly snakes and poisonous insects.
But monkeys? Monkeys are a whole other story. Continue reading “India Part III: I Encounter Monkeys”