Category: Being Authentic

My Thoughts on Bones’ Take on OCD

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I started watching Bones when I had to have a spinal tap before my second scoliosis surgery. I spent my Thanksgiving break laying completely flat on a couch and binge-watching Bones DVDs that my dad picked up for me from Blockbuster’s (which definitely dates my story). I focused on it instead of the raging pain in my brain every time I moved.

Since then, I continue to watch Bones reruns when I am tired, in pain, not feeling well, or just need something comforting on in the background. I love the ridiculous relationships, elaborate jargon, and dumb jokes.

In one of the episodes from Season 4: The Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond, the team solves the murder of a man with OCD. I first watched it long before I got my official OCD diagnosis. Back then the signs were all there, but I was high-functioning and kept many of my rituals and repetitive behaviors hidden.

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When Everything Feels Exhausting

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Lately, I’ve been beyond exhausted. Fatigue, exhaustion, and tired: nothing seems to cover how worn out I actually feel. I’ve had almost all of my IV iron treatments and I still feel wrung out like an old washcloth. I know it is normal for some people not to feel better until all of the treatments are finished. But it’s hard to know that intellectually and emotionally. Emotionally I’m impatient and frustrated.

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Anxiety Doesn’t Always Have a Trigger

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Anxiety doesn’t always have a trigger. Sometimes it’s clear to me why I feel anxious: I am waiting on test results or about to meet with a new client. Sometimes, I find that my anxiety is triggered by alcohol or caffeine. I can often pinpoint something that’s making me anxious. I can say to myself: if I resolve this issue or once I get this information or if I avoid caffeine, I’ll be fine and relaxed.

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Healthy Anxiety

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It’s been a long time since I’ve written. I’ve been going through a stressful time health wise (what else is new?), and I haven’t been able to focus. I’ve had fun new symptoms like horrible night sweats almost every night. It’s not glamorous or fun. In fact, I’ve been feeling a bit ashamed by these sweats, despite knowing that they are fairly common. So now I’m trying to be a bit more open about this common symptom that a lot of people have to deal with (so much so that I found pajamas advertised specifically for night sweats…that help a little).

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Why Do We Feel the Need to Be “New” and “Improved” at the New Year?

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Why do we need to be different? Everywhere this time of year there are advertisements for New Year’s resolutions that will change you: make you better, make you different, make you a new you for the new year. Why do we want that? Why are we so unhappy with who we are?

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