I started watching Bones when I had to have a spinal tap before my second scoliosis surgery. I spent my Thanksgiving break laying completely flat on a couch and binge-watching Bones DVDs that my dad picked up for me from Blockbuster’s (which definitely dates my story). I focused on it instead of the raging pain in my brain every time I moved.
Since then, I continue to watch Bones reruns when I am tired, in pain, not feeling well, or just need something comforting on in the background. I love the ridiculous relationships, elaborate jargon, and dumb jokes.
In one of the episodes from Season 4: The Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond, the team solves the murder of a man with OCD. I first watched it long before I got my official OCD diagnosis. Back then the signs were all there, but I was high-functioning and kept many of my rituals and repetitive behaviors hidden.
Continue reading “My Thoughts on Bones’ Take on OCD”
Yesterday, I asked my husband to watch an episode of the CW TV show Supernatural: season 4: episode 6. I had a reason for it besides just wanting to rewatch the show (especially now that the influx of new shows and movies online has slowed to a trickle). In the episode, a ghost infects Dean with a sickness that makes him get worried, then get anxious, then get terrified and die. Despite the supernatural aspects of the show and the fact that Dean is cured at the end when the brothers vanquish the ghost, the show does a really good job of showing how anxiety can feel and how it feels for others around you. Continue reading “Why I Love How Supernatural Depicts Anxiety”
Fear can make us small. It can make us paranoid, nervous, suspicious, unfriendly, close-minded and all these things that I don’t want to be. My anxiety and OCD means that I get scared a lot. Ordinary things that don’t scare other people scare me. Some days I’m more scared than others. Some days I have to really psych myself up to go outside or get in the car or even video chat someone for the first time.
Continue reading “Fear Can Make Us Small”
When the reality of the coming shutdown became clear, we started thinking hard about when and how we would move 500 miles. We had been thinking about the move for a while, had even visited the areas we were thinking of moving to but hadn’t started seriously planning. We had originally planned to move in the summer but when the media started discussing the economic effects of the shutdown, we realized it might be incredibly hard to sell our old place and move in the summer or even in the next year or so.
Continue reading “Mental Health and Moving in a Pandemic”
OCD means that even when I am exhausted or in pain, sometimes I can’t help but engage in my rituals and obsessive behaviors. In these times, I can find myself washing up the dishes, and then suddenly I’m doing laundry and cleaning all the counters and the toilets and I don’t know exactly how I got there. Especially because I still hurt.
Continue reading “My New Pandemic OCD Rituals”