I’ve had insomnia since I can remember. I love to sleep, but it takes me forever to fall asleep and I wake up at least once a night usually for an hour or more. I’ve struggled so much with my sleep because it directly affects my health—my back, anxiety, migraines, etc. Everything is worse when I don’t sleep and it makes it more likely I’ll have flare-ups.
It’s been a long time since I’ve written. I’ve been going through a stressful time health wise (what else is new?), and I haven’t been able to focus. I’ve had fun new symptoms like horrible night sweats almost every night. It’s not glamorous or fun. In fact, I’ve been feeling a bit ashamed by these sweats, despite knowing that they are fairly common. So now I’m trying to be a bit more open about this common symptom that a lot of people have to deal with (so much so that I found pajamas advertised specifically for night sweats…that help a little).
To begin, I’d like to take umbrage with the term “functional.” I think that means something different to everyone and I don’t want to judge others for what they can or cannot do. What I mean here is OCD that is medicated and at a level that I find acceptable on a daily basis.
The last few weeks have been hard anxiety-wise. And I have no reason or explanation for it at all. I’m not feeling particularly stressed or worried about anything more than normal.
Sometimes, I think I have a handle on everything—that I’ve finally achieved acceptance and balance. And then I get knocked off balance by some new ailment.